Because I realised that I was numb. I was looking for love and connection in all the wrong places. In my credentials, my bank account, in the variety of skirts, in all kind of outside circumstances. It was an endless search, with few meaningful relationships, even though there were so many people around.
For the previous 2 years I had been working in a fast-paced environment, connected with hundreds of people every month through my job and I was always there for them to help them find clarity and direction. And I had great results, as I felt like an eternal student on a mission and I love connecting with people.
I took that so seriously that my entire focus was on them, sometimes 18 hours a day, for 2 years!! When I was going to bed sucked dry, I was saying to myself “you saved another one, tomorrow you can do more”.
I actually thought that people need to be saved if they ask for help and I believed their bullshit about not feeling enough. We were clicking on emotions such as sadness, guilt and feeling separate from our dreams. Of course, we helped each other a lot by learning and growing in awareness and I am soooo grateful for those years. Coaching thousands of people gives you big insights on trends of consciousness and decision making.
The problem is that my self-worth was directly linked to how much I was helping others. I did ask myself “the question” several times: , but that voice was echoed by people telling me “I don’t know what I would have done without you”, “you saved me”, “thank God you were here”. In some bootcamps they even nicknamed me “112”, that’s the emergency number in Romania.
In addition, I completely ignored about my personal life, I missed my amazing friends and I forgot what fun time is. I stepped on all my values with the excuse of what I thought to be contribution.
If I look back, In Romania I had whatever I needed, in terms of resources: money, my flat, a great car, I travelled a lot and I was connected to my family and many people who I literally witnessed transforming their lifes in the AS community.
But I couldn’t talk to people about my sensitive side, about the fact that I was keeping myself busy to overcome a huge depression, obsessive compulsive behaviours and abuses.
I didn’t know how to love myself.
I was just getting ready to be ready and be ready to get ready to be ready…for life.
Intense work and no focus on health served me several breakdowns. But it was only a car accident that made me decide to quit and move to London, with my fiancé. Unfortunately, we broke up quickly and my emotional side was again a total mess.
So I was staring at Thames river, from the 14th floor of a building called Regina (the irony!) looking from my kitchen window at the abundant city and dreaming of my childhood ship. I felt like I was living in a bubble, like my dreams weren’t attainable.
“When your intention is clear and your energy is intense, the vision of what is possible will start to manifest inside of you” Rick Jarow
As strange as it might sound, I became very aware that I didn’t have a ship.
Also, I become aware that I didn’t REALLY want a ship, like my inner child did, I wanted the lifestyle that comes with having a ship. Allow me to explain.
If I have a ship, I will have friends and family to go on a journey with me, right? Who buys a ship because of loneliness?
I’ll also have a business that provides me the money and time freedom to go on cruises whenever I want! I must be leading an abundant life if I’m enjoying all that.
Little Andreea was a genius!
So I told to myself: I’ll design my own “ship”!!
No matter what it takes, how much it takes, I’ll do the work.
It’s amazing what happened! By focusing on MY journey towards this prosperous lifestyle, I got to serve people better than I had ever done before.
I changed the story that I was telling myself, from a drama to an empowering one.
I started my company up straight with the purpose of helping people thrive and suddenly I had coaching clients and marketing projects OUT OF NOWHERE!
I am the living proof that miracles happen!
I started to make money and I went to many proficient courses where I met amazing, supporting people: T.H. Ecker, Tony Robbins, Master Coach Academy, tons of Theta Healing programs, entrepreneurship academies, later on Joe Dispenza!
I literally changed my mind and my body! I lost 7 kg, I started meditating and doing yoga and energy work on a regular basis.
Once I MADE THE DECISION to do the work, people started asking me how to open their own start up and create high end programs!! They didn’t even know that I was preparing the project Design Your Ship, with this very purpose!
I only had clients from word of mouth for a long time.
I just began attracting fellow creatives who had lots of enthusiasm and are really good at what they do, but need a system to launch themselves into business.